When I hear the word homemaker, I guess I seem to think of older women who can and preserve everything in the garden, make perfect homemade pies, and still iron every piece of clothing. I don’t think that’s technically what homemaking is. In fact, I have gained perspective in homemaking while following Mother in the Making. She talks about her experiences and the life lessons she has learned in being a stay at home mom.
I am now a mother as well, and often I am asked if I am “stay at home mom”. Which, yes, I am in fact, a “stay at home mom”.
However, as I have taken the time to both ponder and consider the term homemaker, I have come to the conclusion that Homemaker is actually not a set definition one must strictly adhere to. Being a homemaker is what one wants it to be.
As a homemaker, you are literally making your house a home. In your own way, with your own needs, within your time, and within your budget.
Being a homemaker doesn’t mean you’re old or outdated, or homely. That idea and notion of the term “homemaker” was not accurate then, and it isn’t today. And to be fair, the Homemaker doesn’t imply a fraction of what it takes to make a house a home, nor does it attribute the need for a spouse to help and share the load of the many obligations it can bring. I see being a homemaker as a calling in myself; completely intertwined with my calling as wife and mother.
Now, in this sense it does not imply that every mom must be a homemaker, nor does it imply that a homemaker must have children. That couldn’t be any further from the truth. What I love about it is that it is up to each one of us to decide the relationship we have with being a homemaker, mother, wife, etc.
If you’re reading this blog, and you either feel tasked or burdened to make your house a home, or maybe its a little “bleh” and overwhelming, to what some may flag as “extreme” and that everything. must. be. perfect. Well, this is for you.
You have the opportunity to make your house a home. Whether its a flat, a condo, a rental house, an old farmhouse or a custom new build home- you still get to make it yours for the time being. Its all up to you!
Realizing new realms of motherhood and in “wanting” to become a homemaker, I came to the realization I already am one! I often set the tone for my home. In small ways throughout my life I have always tried to make where I live feel “homey”. It has always had my personal touch.
That brings me so much joy. I feel inspired, enlightened. I guess it comes naturally. I just love that stuff. Now, for me, I could decorate my house all day and spend all the money in the world. But I would have one very huge problem. I wouldn’t have a CLEAN house! Ha.
I have made my list of what I expect in homemaking in myself, and I am learning alot of grace and letting things go. But one thing I can’t let go is the cleaning and organizing. To me, that is a crucial pillar of homemaking. And boy howdy, am I learning!
But just in writing this I am smiling. By redefining what I believe “homemaker” to be I find less restriction, and more freedom. I find less mundane and more extraordinary. I feel less “bleh” and more “ahh”. Do you read me?! I’ve realized what I want to achieve and I have finally recognized that I can bring my interests, my talents, and desire to become, and I don’t feel restricted. I don’t have to be “stuck at home” everyday. Sure, I will have those days. But I don’t have to everyday. I’m so glad I realized this. And I hope you can too. If you consider yourself a homemaker, (or if you’re like me and think “I don’t want to be considered that, I am so not outdated”) well, you’re welcome here too.
I can guarantee we are all in different stages of lives. And I certainly can’t speak for everyone (and nor do I want that pressure!).
I have a cute Dollar Tree notebook 1/4 full of my thoughts and notes I have learned about myself and homemaking. And I am so excited to embrace this and formally accept my new position as Homemaker. Second to wife, and mother. And intertwined in a million ways.
This is the life I prayed for as a child. It is now my time to to enjoy life itself. It’s a journey, no reason to not enjoy until the “ultimate destination” is right before my eyes.
What I have learned:
Homemaking is what you make it. It doesn’t have to be cleaning and canning vegetables (but if I could have both superpowers I would be totally fine with that).
There’s a time and a season for everything.
Homemaking is not about being a perfect housewife with all white walls, white couches, white playrooms, perfectly white kitchens, in perfectly steamed white outfit.
(Anybody else running nightmare scenarios in their head of what could happen to all that WHITE in just. one. day?!)
Homemaking is about making your house a home. Your way. Fulfilling your needs, your husband’s needs, your kids needs, maybe your aunt’s needs, or a parent or siblings’ needs. So its DIFFERENT FOR EVERYONE.
So just in case that sentence didn’t imply it enough: its not to be compared against other homemakers. Or other who aren’t homemakers. Nor others who don’t want anything to do with being a homemaker.
For me, somedays that means dry shampoo for the third day in a row, and a gross t-shirt, and mound of clean (but very wrinkled) laundry while you cheer on your child at a soccer game, or cuddle your teething toddler all day.
And hey, if that mound of laundry is dirty, its okay too. I’m learning in my newly discovered role (that I have brought upon myself- no, I was not forced to be here!) that I have to have sick days too. I need vacation days, I need “I’m a mom” days to focus on a child, or “I’m a wife” days to focus solely on my husband’s needs. And if my new role had PTO that would be a dream but it’s fine….. 😉
Right now I am seriously learning. As we speak my dishes are done but my laundry is definitely not. To be honest I actually have both piles. Clean and dirty. Ha! I’m pretty sure dinner is usually after 7pm over here. And I seriously need to work on that for my farmer husband who comes home hungry everyday!
In my world, homemaking is second to being a wife + mother, but I truly do see it as a calling. A priviledge, and an honor. Since I was a little girl in kindergarten I wanted to be a Mom. And now that I am, I am learning that the phrase “just a mom” is offensive. In no way does that phrase represents the sacrifice, the heartache, the grit, and inexpressable joy or pure love my Mom went through to raise me. Nor does it represent any of the world’s brave herioc and selfless mothers out there.
I’m realizing that my expectations of homemaker might ebb and flow a bit. Some days will be better than others, and if I try to be absolutely perfect I will be miserable, and lets face it, so would my family. I say some days, but honestly, some years might be better than others. I feel so crowded in my house right now it is hard!
If I am pregnant or have a baby, if I am in school, if I am struggling with health problems….. and countless other scenarios- those will affect me, and I think I will need to raise and lower the bar a bit to accomodate myself. Perhaps you do too.
I am going to try to fix those “magic” drawers, but they might “wear out” and need repaired quite often. Food storage and emergency preparedness are lacking some essentials right now given my space….. but my child definitely has a 3 month supply of cheerios in his carseat that could come in handy if we’re ever in a jam.
Well- there you have it. My thoughts on becoming a homemaker and my excitement for what is to come. I am so grateful I have been able to realize this to be inspired in my own little way so that I can find “my place” and incorporate my talents and interests in what I find to be the most important place on earth: My Home.
Happy homemaking!
Xo,
Kelsie Ann
