Happy New Year friends!
I can’t believe it’s 2022. I was going through my photos today and I began to cry. 2021 was full of so much good, bad, and ugly.
Blake has been so strong and confident and kind through all of it and I am forever thankful for him.
Hudson has brought so much joy to us in the past year and I have loved being his mom. I am so blessed.
But with that, came many trials. Many heartbreaks, many slammed doors of opportunities. The unknown was one of the worst!
Unfortunately we were taken advantage of, treated pretty unfairly, and we had to remove ourselves from the situation. We knew there were better things ahead. But is it just me, or is it so hard to leave what your know for the unknown??
Throughout all of this Blake has held his tongue and treated everyone with an amount of respect I am still in awe with. His heart and humility, —I am convinced is how we are here in this new wonderful opportunity today.
After much fasting and prayer we were given an opportunity of a lifetime to continue in agriculture and in a wonderful environment with trusted individuals.
We had to make the difficult decision to leave Idaho, and I’m still adjusting to my new “home”.
We’ve all but started over here. I left my home state and my family, and my new friends I had finally found after a year into my last move! We don’t know a soul in our town but we have family members minutes away and that brings a little more peace to not feel so alone.
Blake has been my rock through each disappointment. I love hard. I trust hard. And I hope hard. So give me heartbreak and I’ll break hard.
With each devastating blow, seemingly endless unknowns, & loads of discouragement, he has picked me up off the floor each time and allowed me to cling to him for strength.
I have fallen out of routines, battled silent battles of grief, illness, moments of loneliness, depression, and anxiety.
I have been betrayed by people I thought I could trust.
But as I scroll through my camera roll I see countless goofy toothless smiles, baby giggles, SO many wreaths!!…. a business I started, a new car, new job, new house, new state, new town. I see the way Blake looks at me when I’m on the other side of the camera. I see my tiny miracle singing his own “dada momma” song that melts your heart.
I’m reminded of my amazing family who showed up for me. Who came to help me on hard days.
Who came and folded laundry and helped me sort through mail.
Who rescued us broken down on the side of the road with one of the many car problems this year!
The family who drove hours to come help us fix our cars just to spend time with us and save us money.
If I could summarize 2021 in one word, it would be Change.
The lessons I learned from 2021: (and some I haven’t yet accepted)
Look for God, know your worth, people are human, let go of those trying to destroy you- that’s when they lose their power. Have faith, some things you can’t control no matter how careful you are. Hard work brings rewards, remember your talents, remember your why, be present, a grateful heart can move a heart of stone. And so so many more.
I also realized I picked up things I shouldn’t have in 2021. Bitterness, anger, a smaller (choice) vocabulary, a severe sweet tooth, maybe some overthinking ha! and some true disorganization habits! Ha
But isn’t that the beauty of looking back at a year? We have to see the good and the bad. And if our year was AMAZING then celebrate it!!! And if our year maybe is leaving us a little more rough and damaged than the year prior, well, me too.
Hopefully my year of BIG changes will not repeat, but more importantly hopefully my heart has changed so that I can handle 2022 with grace.
Tomorrow is January 1st, I feel anxious. I feel slightly concerned I won’t progress in my goals. What will I expect? Honestly, I don’t know.
But what I believe is that there is a God who loves me, and to make it through anything I need him.
And I need Him a lot.
I also know that no matter what, my husband will be there by my side fighting for me to feel better, for me to succeed.
I also know that this is the change I’ve been prepared for. I have nothing to lose!
With the new year coming upon us I realized I have so many goals and aspirations and they all had a common thing. They took work and a desire to get there.
So 2022, my word for you is Be Intentional.
I want to be an intentional daughter of God. Because I need His peace.
I want to be an intentional wife.
I want to be an intentional mother.
I want to intentionally get healthier.
I want to intentionally be organized.
I want to intentionally fight the “funk” I’m in.
I want to intentionally fight my cravings with ease.
I want to be intentional about my social media usage, and not intentionally hurt myself.
I want to be intentional in being present for my son and my husband. To intentionally put my phone down.
I want to intentionally save. Which means I must intentionally budget.
I want to forgive myself of past mistakes. And so I must intentionally learn more about my Savior and His Atoning sacrifice and Atonement.
I want to intentionally let go.
To forgive those who have brought me endless tears, guilt, remorse, and insult. I want to forgive those who have inflicted pain and forced change in my life. And to do that—I must be intentional about letting go. Intentionally forgiving; not waiting for an apology that may never come.
I want to become an intentional friend.
I want to become an intentional neighbor.
I want to be an intentional business owner.
I have some huge adjustments and big shifts to make in order to accomplish these goals. My sweet husband gave me this sign for my “word of the year” for Christmas.
(He knows I LOVE signs)
Living intentionally is going to take forethought, productivity, stamina, choice, perseverance, and dedication.
Remember Lot’s wife? She kept looking back. If I want to be intentional, I need to keep looking forward. To embrace my new life here and embrace the changes and keep moving forward.
And I feel I am ready for it. I am ready to leave 2021 and mold myself into a better version of me. And I hope it sticks.
So I’m going to roll up my sleeves. And I’ll see you soon. 2022, I’m coming for you. I’m going to take this gift of a new year given, and intentionally make it a year of success, and year of peace, a year hope, and a year of growth.
May you my friends be blessed with love, friendship, trust, and anything else you will need this year. May you be blessed with the courage to change where you feel you need to, and the grit and determination to do it.
Happy New Year!
Xo,
Kelsie Ann
