I was talking to my husband a few weeks ago one night after a particularly rough day. When one kid was finally in bed, he asked me how I was doing. That’s a loaded question for this mom of two still in pajamas at 9:30 at night with dishes piled on the sink and counter and me sitting on the couch breast pumping.
Obviously I was overwhelmed, overstimulated, overtired, and a million other things. As we talked we reminiscenced on our younger days. Just 4 years ago our life was an entire world different than it is now. We laughed and smiled and at the end of the conversation we realized how simple, & how poor we were back then. And yet how incredibly happy we were.
Then we brought the conversation to the present as we sat next to each other on the couch. He was feeding my 3 month old baby a bottle and I was next to him on the couch pumping. It was 9:30 pm and both of us hadn’t even had dinner yet. We came to the obvious conclusion that life is harder and more complicated now.
He then asked me what 5 of my absolute favorite things in life are. As I listed them, I somewhat sarcastically said, “The perfect 3 seconds I get a day when the boys are smiling and maybe even looking at each other.” Although I said it half-jokingly, and it did sound silly, I meant it.
Everyday I feel a few seconds (and several minutes at certain times in life) of pure joy. A perfect moment. Some days it’s when the kids are still asleep and I see the sunrise as I open the blinds in the morning after a hard day prior. Sometimes it literally is three seconds of my two-year-old entertaining my baby before I have to intervene. Sometimes it’s three perfect minutes that my husband is reading a book to my toddler and there is quiet and stillness.
I realized that although I am so dang tired, and my patience is thin, my makeup doesn’t cover my dark circles and my stretch marks aren’t going away….none of that holds a candle to the precious perfect moments I have with my babies.
These perfect moments range from three seconds to maybe three minutes of pure perfection and a split-second burst of JOY. I realized that they come daily, but am I always paying attention to them? Am I giving them the credit they deserve? Am I realizing they are perfect moments?
I need to call them what they are. In my disorganized, sometimes dirty, crazy, overwhelmed life these are perfect moments.
And these are the moments that keep me going. The moments I live for. Not a perfect life, I know that’s not possible. But I can have these moments of perfection each day.
My life isn’t perfect. My house isn’t perfect. I am more often stressed than not. I am overtired and overstimulated and overwhelmed. My to-do and to-worry lists are just hanging over my mind all day long. But that doesn’t disqualify me from those perfect moments. I am not required to have met my life goals to enjoy perfect moments.
I am still entitled to perfect moments. But it’s up to me to expect them. I need to watch for them, enjoy them, and live for them.
Right now there is a load of laundry that’s been sitting in the dryer for three days. I haven’t swept my floor for a few days and I realized I went to story time with spit up all down my shirt.
This morning at 4:30 am after his feeding, my baby was snuggled up into my arms and as tired as I was I let him sleep in my arms for a couple more minutes. Those quiet moments were perfect, even at 4:30 am.
One day my baby was playing on the floor and starting to cry. I picked him up, mentally just wanting a little break because I finally got my toddler down for a nap. And you know what?
My 3 minutes of perfection came.
All that my baby wanted was to be in my arms. He curled up in my arms and was asleep within seconds. And the sun was shining in my living room full of toy cars, and I felt it. My three seconds of perfection today. Today I was able to soak it in for a couple minutes, and after I had fully enjoyed it, I was able to snap a photo. I wanted to remember that moment.
Since having kids I am constantly battling thoughts of inadequacy, failure, and of course the constant thoughts of bills and grocery lists, and the inevitable “what’s for dinner” question. In the back of my mind while feeding my baby I am wondering if my son is flooding my bathroom again. Or I’m in the bathroom and it’s been two whole minutes and my son isn’t knocking at the door so he must be into something.
That night, I was reminded that my perfect three seconds are coming. I have to be the one that searches for them, that awaits for them, and even prays for them. I need to be expecting and looking for them. I need to accept that my life is not perfect and I will never be a perfect wife & mother. But that I can still have perfect moments that I am engulfed in feelings of joy and love or smothered in sweet baby kisses.
My life has hints of perfection all over it. And I’m going to start remembering them. Capturing them. Documenting them. And most importantly, enjoying them.
I challenge you Momma to look for your three seconds of perfection today. Try again tomorrow. After doing it continually, you might find yourself smiling and relishing in those perfect moments with your kiddos and family.
You can have perfect moments even if your life isn’t.
Enjoy those moments, document them if they last longer and you’ve fully relished in that moment. Just please live in the moment for those three perfect seconds.
Xoxo,
Kelsie
